This past year has flown by. I've shared moments of joy, heartache, but not much in between. What I haven't really talked about is how much I’ve been learning about myself — and that centers around how and why I’ve struggled with prioritizing self-care and boundaries.
Being self-employed for the past 14 years, I have balanced pregnancy, motherhood to 3 kids in 19 months and finding a new normal in each phase of life. I haven't really stopped to think how I could do things differently because there didn't seem to be a break to do so. I kept working, kept supporting, and kept showing up for everyone else.
The last two years have been emotionally overwhelming. My youngest sister moved in with us in August 2022, my dad was diagnosed with colon cancer and other ongoing health issues, while both Scott’s mom and my mom started facing health challenges. After my dad passed away in February 2024, we moved my mom into our home to support her emotionally while helping her manage her health. At the same time, we were navigating my mother-in-law’s rapid health decline. Sadly, we lost my mother-in-law at the end of August.
Through it all, I didn’t give myself permission to pause and process how I was feeling.
The turning point came earlier this year, when I had to confront how I was processing my own grief. And the truth was, I wasn't handling it at all.
I needed a space to open up and give voice to thoughts I’d buried for far too long—a process that hasn’t come easy to me. In December 2023, I took my first step and scheduled time with a counselor. Through these conversations, I realized that many of my struggles stemmed from learned behaviors—and some were simply beyond my control. This clarity led me to get tested for ADHD, and receiving the diagnosis helped me understand why I’ve struggled to create structure, maintain boundaries, and stay focused long enough to be intentional in my actions.
I'm finally acknowledging that I am both the problem and the solution.
One of my greatest strengths has always been my ability to think clearly and act decisively under pressure. It’s what makes me a reliable and trusted resource for the people in my life. This skill has built a foundation of strong friendships and meaningful relationships. As an adult, I’ve become the go-to person in my family, both immediate and extended. I’m often the first one people turn to for support, guidance, or coordination—whether it involves planning holidays, managing unexpected events, or navigating life's challenges.
I take pride in being that person—the one my friends and family trust provide them the support they need. Somewhere along the way, I lost sight of boundaries. In my efforts to be everything for everyone—especially within my work and family—I became a people-pleaser. I said “yes” when I really wanted to say “no,” tying my sense of worth to being helpful, needed, and reliable. But this came at the cost of my own well-being.
One of my biggest challenges has always been asking for help. It feels like I am admitting weakness or that I'm not capable. But I’ve come to realize that focusing on my well-being isn’t a sign of weakness—it’s necessary. I had to learn how to give myself permission to take care of me. This process isn’t just about refilling my tank when I’m running on empty—it’s about staying connected to my own needs every day.
We’ve all heard the saying, “You can’t pour from an empty cup,” or, “You can’t drive on an empty tank.” Saying it is one thing. Living it—and not doing anything to change—is the real challenge.
It’s not just about surviving the chaos, but finding ways to thrive within it.
This journey hasn’t been easy, and I’m still figuring it out as I go. Some days I feel like I’m making progress, and other days I fall back into old habits — but that’s okay. My goal is being intentional with how I spend my time and energy and learning to put myself back on my own priority list.
If there’s one thing I’ve realized, it’s that self-care isn’t just something to squeeze in when life slows down — because life rarely does. It’s something I have to choose every day. I’m still learning, but I know this much: I've got 3 kids, and one of those is a daughter with a huge heart. I have to model how to make their own health a priority.
Here’s to finding balance, setting boundaries, and giving ourselves permission to be a priority too. ❤️
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