Life’s Wake-Up Call – A Season of Grief and Change

This year’s self-care journey deepened through two heartbreaking losses. In February, my dad passed away after years of battling health issues that began with a stroke in 2013. His passing shifted my focus on supporting and housing my mom, while she navigated her "new" normal without him, while also managing her own health challenges.  

Then, just six months later, we lost my mother-in-law. Those back-to-back losses hit me hard, leaving me emotionally drained and feeling like I had hit rock bottom. 

In the midst of my grief, I did what I’ve always done: I suppressed my own emotions and needs to care for those around me.  I poured my energy into holding space for everyone else’s needs, leaving no room for my own. But through hard conversations with my counselor, I opened my eyes to some hard truths: if I wanted to heal, I needed to start showing up for myself, not just for others. Through this process, I began to understand why I had ignored my own needs for so long — and why that had to change.

I realized that setting boundaries wasn’t just about self-care — it was essential if I wanted to heal and rebuild. With the support of my counselor and Scott, I started drawing clearer lines in my life—with work, family, and even sports commitments. I let go of the idea that I had to be everyone’s “duct tape”,  always holding things together, and began practicing the uncomfortable, but necessary art of saying no.

In October, Scott and I decided to take things further. We committed to focusing on our physical and mental health together for three months. That meant prioritizing sleep, regular physical activity, and quality time with our family. I won’t sugarcoat it—it hasn’t been easy. Getting back into good habits, especially with sleep and consistent workouts (and let’s be honest, being 44!) has been challenging. But despite the difficulty, it feels good to be back on the mat, moving my body, and seeing the first signs of positive change.

Grief has a way of stripping everything down, forcing you to reassess what truly matters. Losing my dad and mother-in-law reminded me that life is too short to constantly pour into others without refilling my own cup. It taught me that taking care of myself isn’t just optional — it’s necessary.

Progress, not perfection, has been the name of the game. It’s about showing up for myself every day, even when it’s hard, and giving myself some grace along the way. Rebuilding takes time — it doesn’t happen overnight, but it happens little by little.

And for the first time in a long time, I can say that I’m hopeful. Hopeful for what’s next, for the habits we’re creating, and for the joy I’m slowly rediscovering.

Here’s to healing, growth, and giving ourselves permission to be a priority. 💙